Meltdowns are emotional avalanches that run their course whether you or the autistic person having it likes it or not. The key is knowing the difference. Children will challenge authority, all children. My whole life, the smallest of inconveniences or changes in plan can bring me to tears. Meltdowns can involve screaming, crying, falling on the floor, and in some cases, self-injury. (They’re also one of the most difficult parts of being an autistic … And, though you may not have to worry about accidental property damage or self-injury, internalized meltdowns as Caley can attest to are still a very bad experience, one we want to help prevent. My meltdowns were not dealt with well in my childhood. In fact, there are many adults, that may have autism and will never know it. When someone tells you repeatedly that they can't have lunch with you because they're busy, you fail to "take the hint." How can I help my child have less meltdowns? Although you can significantly reduce their frequency and intensity, they will still occur at times. As a parent, your first goal is to remain calm. But remember, all autistic children are different and not every day will be challenging or … Having a plan in place, along with the proper tools, can make autistic meltdowns much more bearable. One professional will not diagnose anyone as autistic who can make eye contact. It’s always a bit of a gut punch when you’re all dolled up ready to head out and, suddenly, your partner in crime cancels. Meltdowns and shutdowns do not occur in selective mutism. meltdowns – a complete loss of control over behaviour; Some autistic children can also be physically or verbally aggressive. 5. Many autistic people have sensory differences. For each autistic individual, meltdowns will present a little differently. Their behaviour can be harmful to themselves or other people. I have more shutdowns than meltdowns every now and then I do still have a meltdown, but some autistic people have said that they grew, grew out of their meltdowns and they no longer have meltdowns. You can not only meet the needs of your child, but you can help teach him better ways to get what he needs or wants. 1)Goal oriented vs overload. Maxine Share, a self-advocate and autism expert consultant, emphasized that unlike what people may perceive, autistic meltdowns are not behavior issues. Still, if you have something better to do (although it’s hard to imagine anything more riveting) try telling the autistic person you need some space – just remember to be tactful. They thought I could control what was happening, which was not the case at all. With some people, meltdowns also have a physical side; throwing, kicking and lashing out often happen. Meltdowns are similar to the fight response. Once you have a clearer idea what may be triggering meltdowns, think about ways you might minimise that trigger. You can also think about where you can go to calm yourself if you start feeling overwhelmed. Also notice how the father stays calm, supportive, and compassionate. Autistic people don’t have meltdowns because we can’t get our own way, but because we have lost ours. The common reasons for autistic meltdowns will be sensory overwhelm, response to change, communication challenges and high levels of anxiety. The first thing parents suggest is to understand the difference between tantrums and meltdowns. The truth, unsurprisingly, is that you can be empathetic (even highly so) and autistic. Tantrums and meltdowns are common in children with autism. It is terrifying! [00:04:16] Um, but you know, you could say that and it could, you could go a lot of years without having one and then have one out of the blue. Autistic children do not respond in this way to be difficult, but because they don't know how else to respond. Safety is a must. What is a meltdown? They can … While most meltdowns can be managed without medication, some cases of aggression and violent meltdowns might require additional help. More on that in a minute. Some people say anyone who doesn’t have meltdowns isn’t autistic. That’s it. As an autistic person, I have been told many times that I am “sensitive” and I have experienced autistic meltdowns. You can be outgoing and autistic. Shouting, screaming and ranting can occur. The question is, do they have the upper hand, or do you? You can get inspiration or support from other parents who are also dealing with this same issue. If the person cannot escape that leaves two options: either fight or freeze. Remember this key element, you cannot avoid meltdowns entirely. You may be very used to meltdowns that your child or adult child (or friend, or coworker) may have. They aren’t nearly as easy to spot as a meltdown, but the impact on an autistic person can be just as big. Identifying when a meltdown is coming while it is still in its early stages can help mitigate discomfort. Every autistic person is different, but sensory differences, changes in routine, anxiety, and communication difficulties are common triggers. You may not know that reason at the time but when you start to understand why a meltdown happens for your child it is much easier to support them and /or avoid meltdowns in the future. If you have a child who has meltdowns, consider the following: Not all meltdowns look alike: There are a variety of behaviors that occur when a child has lost the ability to stay calm or regulated. My parents thought I was just throwing tantrums. ... you will be better equipped to respond in a calm way. A meltdown is completely out of our control and, as such, people need to stop blaming the autistic person or the family members of the autistic person for meltdowns happening. It’s hard to help someone avoid meltdowns if you don’t realize they’re even a factor. When someone is in this situation their reaction is either flight, fight or freeze. Others recognize that meltdowns are an overload response, so an autistic without meltdowns is just a non-overloaded autistic. I was usually locked in my room during these meltdowns. You sometimes choose to take things too literally. (Inside: With these 5 calming strategies for autism meltdowns that actually work, you’ll be able to calm your child during their meltdown so much faster!) an applesauce or yogurt pouch) or maybe an oral sensory tool will help. What are the most common causes of meltdowns? ... It’s really hard for most autistic people. (If the person learned to behave aggressively, they may do things like hit, kick, or bite objects or people, but most autistic people are not … Meltdowns Meltdowns are often the result of situations which are highly stimulating or create high levels of anxiety which feel like they can't be escaped. After a meltdown parents can feel exhausted and wonder if they responded correctly. We Cancel Plans at the Last Minute. We have lost the ability to contain what is happening inside and then, BOOM! Move to a quiet place, away from the stimulation that may have evoked the overload until the meltdown is over. Meltdowns can be very distressing for the autistic person, as well as the people supporting them. Can I be autistic if I don't have meltdowns? By using some simple strategies, you can help to reduce your child's meltdowns and tantrums, and even improve self-control in an autistic child. Sensory considerations . Not all meltdowns can be avoided. Prior to a Tantrum. Do your best to remember that autism meltdowns are not anyone’s fault , so it’s important for parents to keep as calm as possible and handle the meltdowns as well as you can. See, the term autism has been around since 1911, but until well into the 1990's it really wasn't recognized. While meltdowns are happening, that’s not the time to ask someone “what’s wrong with you,” chastise them, or ask them questions — that’s all useless. You can be extroverted and autistic. Many children with Asperger profiles have meltdowns. Especially when the cause of the meltdown is unknown. Why do autistic people have meltdowns? Because of the nature of autism, you probably won’t be able to completely eliminate meltdowns from your vocabulary. Knowing the triggers for your sensory meltdowns — crowded places, certain food smells, bright lights — helps you take steps to avoid them. Autism is not just a disorder that affects children. Meltdowns can come from a variety of reasons listed below, but bratty behavior is simply not acceptable. In the video below, you can see an example of a fairly typical meltdown. Another professional will recognize that that’s just a stereotype. They can happen at anytime and can be … Whether they occur at home or in public, recovering from a meltdown can sometimes take a while. I've never had a meltdown or a shutdown. Autistic meltdowns are one of the most difficult parts of autism for me. I've never gone non-verbal or lost my ability to move or gone through anything as intense as I hear other autistic people go through. The "rumbling" phase, also known as the "anxiety" phase, will signal that a meltdown is about to come. Take into account that you’re not always right, either. If your child can’t have a crunchy snack then maybe another strategy will work, like using a different snack (ex. You may be able to get accommodations at school or at work to help you avoid triggers. Autism meltdowns are hands-down one of the most difficult parts of parenting an autistic child. Remember that you are not alone. What You Can Do in a Meltdown. Meltdowns are a tricky subject to talk about, but for many autistic people, knowing what to do when they happen is equally tough to approach. Consult your child’s doctor when considering medication. When discussing tantrums it’s helpful to distinguish these from a meltdown. Getting stuck in the rain would cause a full meltdown. 1 A child might express discontent by hand flapping or rubbing his or her eyes. This question has been asked before and my answer has been that most adults are probably still prone to meltdowns, although have managed their life around avoiding them as much as possible. Like a seizure, it can happen out of nowhere, and it can be very frightening and traumatic for the autistic person (as well as others around them). How can you tell an autistic meltdown from a tantrum? The strategies you use to help prevent meltdowns should be based on the individual, taking the specific needs of the child into consideration. ... To put it simply: tantrums are an angry or frustrated outburst, while autistic meltdowns are a reaction to being overwhelmed. Reduce autistic meltdowns. I feel like I tic every other autism "box" except for this. While taking things literally—and not being able to "read between the lines"—may be a sign of underdeveloped social skills, it doesn't make you autistic. The other reaction to overload is a shutdown. Many times the autistic person may not be aware of their actions during a meltdown, and they may become violent towards themselves or others around them. Autistic Tantrums vs Meltdowns. Have a strategy in place to protect your child and yourself from harm. Options: either fight or freeze is not just a disorder that affects children bratty behavior simply! 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